The female equivalent of a DB.. Auntie Punty!

I thought long and hard of what the female version of a douchebag would be... although there are many to choose from, I asked myself who annoys me just as much as DB's do.  Then it came to me! It's a woman we like to call an "Auntie Punty".  What is an auntie punty?  Well, it's a woman, typically Filipino or of Asian descent, in her 40's + that suffers from the constant desire to look and act young (synonymous with the term "Asian Cougar").  Often seen wearing young, tight-fitting clothing (usually borrowed from their teenage daughters), such as chain belts, halter tops, see-through blouses, mini skirts, and baby-tees with catchy phrases like "Flavor of the Month" screen printed on them.  They like to frequent bars and clubs where younger military men are regular customers and pick up on them with playful swats, swaying dance moves, and fobby giggles.  Auntie Punties tend to wear a lot of colorful makeup and have damaged hair from repetative dying and bleaching.  Since the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, I hope you enjoy these taken on a Vegas trip I took last year. 

Auntie Punty has found her young target (faces have have been blurred to protect the innocent)

Auntie Punty where did you get those dollah dollah bills?!

Wow an Auntie (maybe Uncle) Punty and a DB all in one picture.  What a perfect couple!

Auntie Punty puts some punties on!

The Perfectly "Elegant" Douche Bag

Only a true DB would tell a woman what a catch he is and how lucky she is that he is interested in her...

http://melodymaker.posterous.com/the-reason-some-girls-stay-single-very-funny

Top 5 Douche Bag Clothing Brands

#5 Roar USA - The underdog of douche bag brands. Not as popular as its competitors but just as tacky.

#4 Tapout - The official sponsor of ultimate fighters and douche bags!!

#3 True Religion Jeans - The forefront of douche bag denim.

#2 Affliction - The ever so popular overly designed graphic tee and trucker hats! yumm

#1 The man who started the trucker hat sensation known as Von Dutch, the god himself -Christian Audigier of Ed Hardy! Thank you Mr. Audigier for designing fashion forward douche bag gear!

Planet Douche

Cheers to the trucker hat wearing, peanut shell crotch douche.

We Applaud you and your popped collar douchebaggery.

Bene ciao il douchebag!

Lacoste, the dbag stamp that will last forever.

DB Threepeat: Star tattoo, Leather wristband, and Faux Hawk - OH MY!

The physical breakdown of a douche bag

http://www.pyzam.com/funnypictures/details/3720

Click below: Because You Can't Fake Awesome...

"You know it...you know it..."

DB plus 8

The Ed Hardy shirt, bad-a** attitude and designer too tight jeans = DB of the moment.  These pictures say it all... How classy!

Courtesy of: http://www.usmagazine.com/photos/jon-gosselins-biggest-photo-faux-pas

Let's start it off with the definition of a DB...

So for those aren't familiar with what a douchebag is (lucky you), I thought I'd start it off with the definition of douchebag... Urban dictionary has pages of what a douchebag is: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douchebag

But this one is my favorite so far:
douchebag : The term "douchbag" generally refers to a male with any number of characteristics not associated with one particular region or age demographic. Douchebag is a combination of attitude qualities, social ability, and attire.

In terms of geography douchebags can be found nearly anywhere. For instance, douchebags can be seen in New Jersey where fake diamond earrings, frosted spiked hair, Razor phones, half a can of Axe, unbuttoned collared shirts, Fossil watches, overly groomed chinstraps, backwards colored Yankee hats with the sticker still attached and 2002 Mustangs are considered "tight." At the same time douchebags are also plentiful in the Southwest where on any given Wednesday night on frat row in Tempe you can find males who find it "sweet shit" to wear pink collared shirts, while donning the following attire: pukka-shelled necklaces, fake skater shoes, have some variation of an Asian symbol tattoo on their shoulder or back, wear a Hurley hat that sits cockeyed on their head, throw various fake gang signs during pictures and drive their dad's old white 1997 convertible M3 BMW. They also generally find the length of time one drinks while doing a "keg-stand" directly correlates with the amount of pussy one can get.

As mentioned douchebags transcend not only various geographical locations, but age demographics as well. For instance, douchebags are quite often seen just south of Sarasota, FL as evidenced by 45 year old men who still wear Oakley's, shave their chests, wear shirts that read "ride" on the front and "me" on the back, and think its cool to wear white K-Swiss'. They are usually on first name basis with the girls at Hooters, and think white T-shirt contests with 1/2 half-off Margaritas are better than a baseball game with $1 beers. At the same time, we can see young 21 year old douchebags in West L.A. who still think that Dolce Gabana belt buckles, and fo-hawks are "pimp shit."

In terms of behavior douchebags have an over-inflated sense of self worth, lack the social ability to interact with non-douchebags, and have tricked their minds into thinking that they "get mad pussy." The irony is that they very rarely get pussy, but amazingly have the amazing propensity to talk quite often about allegedly getting it.
Example 1:
Person One: Yo--did you see that guy wearing the Abercrombie hat and leather jacket park his crotch rocket right in front of the bar, and rev his engine for 15 seconds?


Person Two: You mean the guy who ordered 25 "Jag-bombs"? Yea, that guy was a f*ing douchebag

Real life doucebags: Keven Federline, Nick Lachey, any dude on The Hills, most of New Jersey,



So as you can see the definition go on and on... And as this blog progresses you'll see and read all about the ones we run into!  Enjoy!